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If life is about becoming a better person, then middle school is about becoming a worse person. So much worse, in fact, that you spend your whole life cleaning up the mess.

Yeah, yeah, genetics. Some people are born depressive, or anxious, or withdrawn. It's just a tendency.

But where does it turn belligerent? An anxious baby will cry at scary shadows, that edge already in its voice. It screams when its parents leave the room. And when it learns to walk and talk, it's still an anxious toddler that hides its face from strangers. The depressive child cries quietly. Another child may be angry, destructive, may get into everything.


All those above mentioned children have parents to soften the blow of their problems. "But there are so many abusive parents out there!", you may cry. Sure, but the vast majority (in developed countries at least) are fairly good folks. They'll dry their little kid's tears, distract them, clean up the mess.

And the little kid is attached enough to the family for this to help. Because Mommy knows all. Even if the other kids throw dirt at you, there's always Dad. Or maybe you're
lucky and they don't tease you too much.

Until other kids start mattering, and becoming more cruel, at the same time. And in your mind, there's not much to go.

And you start coming up with these little tactics and strategies to help this. The anxious little girl? Will draw into herself further, or attempt to please, always, please. The quiet, previously perfectly nice boy? Will grow angry and start getting into fights, start bristling at eye contact.

And then there you have it. A woman who can't say no. A suspicious man. Broken people with tendencies they have to fight against for their whole lives.
People who say that high school is the best time of their lives annoy me.

They are young and they say high school is and will be the "best time of their lives". That they will "look back in twenty years" and "realize that the friendships formed during those years" were the best and deepest. The "lessons learned", the most important. The "Best Time of Our Lives"

This mind you, said before graduating high school.

That means, there's a lot of parroting going on here. That there is crop after crop of seniors, paroting Jostens and graduation speeches.

But imagine they are right, and that high school IS the best time of our lives.

That implies that the rest of our lives, we're going downhill. Life will never be as good, for the FIFTY remaining years.

That's what millions of teenagers are saying. "This is the best time of our lives. Our lives will never get better than this, and we will blindly accept this."

"Accept that our course is set."

"Accept that we have learned all the lessons that are there to learn."

Writer's Block: Googling Myself

Have you ever Googled yourself to see what other people can find out about you? If so, were you surprised at what turned up?

Yes. And then I found out that I am a Ukrainian mail order bride, and an engineer.  But seriously, I'm the sum of random prizes I have won over the past few years. 

first entry, whooo

         Soooo... Only strangers will be added (except for rare exceptions). I'm being undercover here. But every undercover hero needs a secret identity.

          Enter... Tea Girl! - a sarcasm and writing machine, fueled by, you guessed it tea. Caffeinated menace. A bundle of fresh and locally grown whoop-ass. The samurai of... ok, I begin to wax poetic here. 




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May 2010


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